Am I The A Hole
Hi Em & Michael, My wife and I got married back in December 2021. It really was the best day of our lives but looking back I have huge regrets for who I asked to be my maide of honor. From the moment I asked my wife to go out with me the “Karen” who I was friends with for the longest at that period in my life, made comments like “you guys are perfect for each other, I’m already writing my Maide of honor speech”. The full back story is a completely different topic but the short version is I use to be in a Christian cult. That’s we’re “Karen” and I meet. Our wedding guest list was limited due to Covid restrictions and not even family from interstate we’re able to attend. We made the decision to have no children, not even our young cousins. My M.O.H kept telling her children (3 & 5 years old)how sad it was they wouldn’t get to see me in my wedding dress and they thought we didn’t love them because they weren’t allowed to come. “Karen” the M.O.H wanted to talk about my time in the cult and overcoming all the challenges to get to where we were today in her speech. Both my wife and I told her we wanted no mention of the church (cult) at our wedding as it was traumatic and not appropriate. We didn’t feel she understood this after asking us, again if it was ok to mention certain things in her speech. We opted to give the speech to another bridal party member, as we were really worried about what she might say. On the day of the wedding she popped Valium at 8am and drank a bottle of wine as we got ready, it hadn’t worn off by the ceremony. During the ceremony she stood on my dress and veil so I wasn’t able to move my head without being pulled backwards. In the bridal photos she’s pulling a face in every shot and when she wasn’t the other bridal party members have a look of horror on their faces from her actions. We have really nice photos individually but none all together. Two days after the wedding she posted her excitement for seeing her best friend get married to the love of her life after being in a cult and overcoming gay conversion therapy using our wedding hashtags. My wife asked if she could just remove the hashtags and was then abused via text for the next week. I called to try and sort things out and everything I said was twisted and turned against me and into something awful about my wife. She told me she was willing to sort things out with me but will never move forward or forgive my wife. I explained she had not right to speak to my wife that way and that she had spoilt the excitement from just getting married and I would call her after our honeymoon. I never called her. Am I the A hole for choosing to support my wife and walking away from a 10 year friendship? Much love,