Busy working friends
Hi Em and Michael, and hi to Ben, Zeke and everyone behind the scenes, I'm after some advice about friends because I wonder if mine arent as good at being a friend as I am. I've always put a lot into my friendships, on the whole my relationship and my mental health have been pretty good so I have had the bandwidth to support my friends. Generally I have one really close friend from different friendship groups rather than a girl gang, so maybe they think someone else is probably looking after it? I'll check in if it's been a while, when they've had babies I've dropped over dinners and sent flowers or doughnuts when they've had something particularly shitty go down. I don't feel like I get that back- when I had my second baby recently a lot of them were so busy with their babies they didn't return the favour, and at my thirtieth a few years ago three of my really close friends didn't come last minute (two had really big days at work and one went to visit her Grandma...) Everyone is busy and exhausted because being a human adult is busy and exhausting, and intellectually I know it's not malicious or even deliberate. Mum always used to say "good friends have good friends," and I love these women, I just don't know if I'm expecting too much or maybe I've got some good-not-great friends? Is this a matter of meeting them where they are, taking what they can offer and leaning more onto my very supportive partner? Feel free to edit for length/clarity because ya girl can waffle. Cheers!
Gay identity crisis
Hi Em and Michael, I am a 25 year old (Hi Gay!) guy, throughout my life I have been very feminine, wore makeup, fake tan, lash extension, dresses, heels you name it. I felt confident and happy in who I was and didn’t care what anyone thought. COVID lockdowns however changed me, being in Victoria we suffered the most. I was working and still am from home full time and all of my ‘glam’ had taken a huge hit. I found the gym and have lost 20KGs and did heavy heavy psych work on my mental health. I keep being told I am in the best shape of my life physically, spiritually, mentally, financially but I just don’t feel it. I was told by my psych that my glam was a mask and I was being a character instead of being my true self to hide insecurities and heavy trauma. I have culled my wardrobe which consisted of dresses, skirts, heels etc as they don’t fit anymore. I feel I have evolved and changed but am grieving my ‘mask’ and am not sure who I am anymore. Any tips on how to find one’s self while going through an identity crisis? Thank you so much love to you both! X
Homesick retrospective
Hi Em, I was wondering how your American holiday experience would have faired on an emotional level had you done it in the first iteration of your 40th year on this planet, as originally planned. I'm particularly interested in the distance from your family, but then also in the day to day momentum of transitioning from day activities to night. Overall, from afar and through the lens of Insta, you seemed to fair amazingly. So much has happened for you in the last few years including Elio growing older (so I'm wondering if he is now more or less dependant on you, or how his mum-dependant needs have changed since being a baby), and you and your children have had diagnosis and treatment thereafter. I wondered if there was a mish mash of some elements making it tricker being away and some far easier? Super curious! Love you, the gang and the pod. Cheers, Anna
Am I the asshole?
So my husband thinks I’m being unreasonable and doesn’t understand why I’m so upset Here is the situation I love alone time it recharges my soul all I need is 8 hours in my house alone to do whatever I want without anyone needing something from me or talking to me. I have had one day alone since 2020…. I am a shift worker most days I start at 3am so am up around 2. When I get home from work my husband is always home working sometimes he is out for meetings so I get a sneaky hour to myself but this is rare. My ND daughter is a competitive gymnastics so I have to get her to training 4 days a week which generally is a 2 hour round trip I then have to stay up until 9pm to say goodnight because she can’t go to sleep without speaking to me. I’m exhausted…. A couple of weeks ago my Mum had to stay with us for a few days so magically my husband was out every day because he didn’t want to deal with her, I was pretty annoyed to find out he actually has an office he can go to! Anyway it’s my birthday on Friday and he asked what I wanted and I said all I want is a day to myself, so today is my day off and I really thought he would go out but nope he is home again. I cracked it and he is now annoyed with me because he thinks it shouldn’t matter if he is home or not. So my question am I being unreasonable
Gay identity crisis update
Hi Em, Michael and the Emsolation community, To the FB page I am truely humbled by the space given to me, your wonderful comments and posts have made me feel fabulous. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Em and Michael, thank you also for giving me the space on the pod. I am truely grateful and it has really cleared my perspective. Sometimes one needs validation and I truely appreciate it. Em, I see us in a high end boutique picking out a striking number for a July Far North Queensland wedding next year. But I also see having different facets of myself isn’t a bad thing and will think of myself as a mosaic from now on. X Michael, I have to say you were quite on the money with being an English lady feeding my chooks at the manor. I feel that’s my vibe, sauntering around the grounds in a Camilla kaftan and a platform wedge collecting eggs. In conclusion thank you to the pod, the community, and to you Em and Michael. I’ll always be eternally grateful for the support. Much love, Roman X