Am I the asshole? With some side quest details
In the past my friend (friend A) and I have house say for each other (both in a couple, no kids and 2 cats). We are both neurodivergent, I have adhd and am a chronic people pleaser to the point it’s detrimental to me. I’ve said no to 2x house sitting (both over 1 week in length of time) in the past 3 months (and still feel the guilt) she’s asked in a group chat for some help with housesitting soon. group chat is with our other friend (friend B) (they used to be much much closer but friend B had a baby about a year ago and now friend A doesn’t know how she fits into friends B life even though they both want to be friends still) who jumped in and said yes, however I know (from past experience) that that friend B says yes but I’m the one that actually does it. I recently house sat for friend B and I cried every night because I couldn’t handle it (previously I’ve been fine) but I am working FT and studying FT (psychology how funny and that’s not even how I realised I had adhd) my adhd is not loving it. friend A who has asked the housesitting is going to visit her very sick mum so I feel I have to say yes cause otherwise I’m a terrible person. (Side note husband and I are going away later in the year but my babies (cats) will go to my mum (she’s even built them a cat run for them) or mum will come to mine). She lives over 20 mins away and we only have the 1 car, my husband has asked me to consider saying no to housesitting again because it disrupts our lives so much and I don’t cope. As I have no kids I am often told how much free time I have and that I mustn’t be stressed etc etc. if I say no, I think it’ll almost ruin the friendship (I left work one day and didn’t say goodbye because I’d had enough and friend A didn’t talk to me for a few days because it was a shitty thing to do), the week of sitting is also around when I expect my next fabulous episode of PMDD. None of which my they know because I feel like my stuff is so trivial to what’s happening in her life and my other friends life too. Sorry for the very long question, oh we all also work together and friend B is my Team Manager (wouldn’t it suck if they were both subscribed & saw this), I forgot where I was up to. We are all adults too and even typing this feels so high school (intentional swift reference). Should I suck it up and do the housesitting, create a roster for friend B and I and post it in the group chat and ONLY do the days I’ve said I can do, or not do it at all protect myself but have real shitty friendship for a while or none of the above. Also love the podcast, I’ve been following you since radio show with some guy who had a beard, I think Christian hull was on your show or producer (which now I feel guilty about cause at the time I didn’t realise how much you hated it and were treated so awful) (and fuck them) (Christian better have been nice), and I feel very seen and included when I listen to you pod, I’ve even sent it to my friends (not A or B) and said “Is this me” and they’ve said yes (in a very loving and supportive, be yourself way), anyway thanks for putting together an amazing podcast and just really thankful you exist (sorry if that’s weird, ok bye)
Mentally ill, hormonal queer or neurodiverse?
Hey Em! Before your dual diagnosis, had you ever been diagnosed with anything before that? I was diagnosed with bipolar at 20ish and now at 33 I feel like I have that under control. My closest 4 friends all have diagnosed adhd and 1 with dual diagnoses, and after watching Atypical and the like - they have all suggested I source an assessment, my mother included. I am so overwhelmed. I have bipolar, PMDD, PCOS and endometriosis - how much more could there be?! Could the bipolar have been the spectrum doing me dirty this whole time?! Should I just prepare for perimenopause? I don’t know what my question is. Just looking for Mama Ems experience and guidance. Thanks for everything, always 🫶🏼
Michael, a new series to work on ?
Dear Michael, love the News Reader, love Offspring etc. Are you looking for a new project I'd be happy to consult on? The kids these days have no idea how good the club life was in the late 90's early 2000's . I am a mother, i work as a retail manager, recently diagnosed (almost exact time as Em) neuro-divergent brain. Also ex Noghvlub photographer in Sydney, and middle class drug dealer.... the series practically writes itself, along with many of my personal lived experiences.... and yours and Ems im sure.... am still friends with an infamous club manger in Sydney. I think i was there dursling a bit of a golden era of clubbing, begore lockout laws. Series would be in the vein of Go or Human Traffic and think it would make a great series... thoughts ? Thanks make me Anonymous pleae!