In need of friendship advice
Hi Em and Michael, I’ve been having some friendship issues with my best friend and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not. We are both in our mid-30s and have been friends for about 10 years. She has been with her current partner for the last 4 years. He lives in another town and they were long-distance for quite some time, he has a child from another relationship and the plan had been for him to move closer to her in a couple of years. However, a couple of years pass and the plans to move never eventuate so she decided to move to him. She is now living with him, away from all of her friends and family. She wants to get married and start having babies, but he keeps saying he isn’t ready yet. To me it feels like she is giving him a lot in this relationship, but doesn’t seem to be getting much in return. To add to all of this I feel like she is constantly putting me second to him and what he wants. When they were long distance I completely understood that when he was around she would preference doing things with him or that he wanted. But now I am the one that is a long way away and everything still seems to be revolving around his plans. We both have very busy full time jobs, so working out a time we are both not working is hard. And even when we find a couple of days that we are both free, it seems that it’s always their week with his child, which often seems to mean that she is looking after the child while he is at work. A lot of these things are starting to concern me that she is putting herself in a quite vulnerable situation in this relationship. But also I feel like I’m slowly loosing my best friend. I’m currently single and have no kids, so maybe I don’t have the best perspective on this, but am I being unreasonable in thinking that at least occasionally I should come first, and that she could sacrifice something to be able to spend some quality time with me? And what should I do about my concerns about her relationship? I’m worried if I tell her my concerns that it will not be taken well (I have gently hinted at things and she always brushes them off), should I just be there to help if things go awry? I don’t want to watch her continually give up on the things and the life she wants and deserves.
But you said....
Hey Em, just listened to today's (29/2) ep and disagree about the kids sleeping at taylor swift concerts. Couple weeks ago you advised someone to take their swifty niece to the concert instead of the teen daughter with fomo. Agree! So bringing too-young kids to a 3hr+ concert IS selfish imo. But I guess I'm more annoyed because in addition to seats taken by the sleepy kids I'm also seeing too many "not a swifty but..." people who went, taking up space where other people missed out. I'll probably be 50 before she tours here again :(
Content request: Where is Kate??
If it is legally safe to, can Em PLEASE do a hyperfixation deep dive into the Missing Kate Middleton for an Extra episode?? If we are worried about getting in trouble, maybe Em can tell us a fictional story about a Australian Princess named Schmate, married to Schilliam? I am so invested but need to hear Em's take on it! Thank you!!
Be a better sing-ger
Hi Em, Like you, singing fills my heart with joy! (Back story - I am a 43 yr old, lesbian mother of three ND boys and lord knows I need more joy in my daily life!) I was a musical theatre sing-ger in my school days and can still carry a reasonable tune now... But I want more! How do I polish my skills - and look after my voice - so I can sing care free and maybe even rejoin the musical theater world on a local level? Tunefully yours, Kelly