I want to be 8 year old Em when I grow up
Hey Em, I never thought I’d be writing anything like this, but I just listened to the last episode of Anomalous. The part where you described your John Farman experience was absolutely amazing. It made me realize that in my 40 years of life, I’ve never found a space where I can truly be myself. I look at other people especially women who go on holidays or coffee with girlfriends and I cry or burry my head in a book or a new new course that I don’t finsh because well we all know adhd I have 3 kids, a boy and two girls, the two girls diagnosed with autism, and my boy and oldest has ADHD dignosed and possibly ASD. Trying to get him an asd diagnosed is a ridiculous process, as you know. Hearing eight-year-old Em being in a place where she could truly unmask made me so sad. My daughter is seven, and is struggling I see my self so much in her. We let her be who she is and before we leave the house for anything I always say just be you. I some times get really can I. My biggest wish is for her to go out into the world and be herself. As I said, as a 40-year-old woman, I’m not who I am, and I don’t think I ever have been I was never given that. I see the struggles that my seven-year-old has at school, and it absolutely terrifies me that she’s going to end up like 40-year-old me. How do I support her to be herself when the world doesn’t allow her to be herself? Her friends and year cohort are so judgmental and don’t let her be this horse-loving, won’t shut up about them galloping around like a young girl who has a heart of gold who also roars like a dinosaur )terraductual to be precise. She comes home from school crying, sometimes on a daily basis, saying she has no friends and her friends don’t let her sit with them. How do you try to encourage that when all you can see is yourself and your experience as a kid at school. Then we have my 5 year old, who is so loved by everyone knows everyone, has a million friends, knows what she wants, is so head strong she is such and extravert but then is such and introvert and gets so emerged in her own little world and has asked help with telling her friends that’s she doesn’t want to play at lunch, we believe it’s because she is conforming to school life and is so overwhelmed she just wants to play and control her own play and world. Trying to explain to her but it’s not nice ect she is like I don’t give a fuck. And I struggle with exactly why should you conform, and I think why can’t we be like her, and I want to be her when I grow up. They are such polar opposite I know that helping myself get a diagnosis and understand who I truly am might help me support them better, but how do you change 40 years of conditioning to hide your self, to them all of a sudden be yourself? It’s such a hard world to navigate, and I’m struggling, and my kids are struggling. I see a psychiatrist, and when I spoke to her about this, one of her comments was, "Wow, you wouldn’t think that about you” my reply was because i hide behind a mask of who I am on the inside. I’m not sure what I’m asking; I guess I’m just hoping for some advice on how we can all unmask and be ourselves, not what society wants us to be.
Diagnosis process for teen girls
Hi Em, I'm hoping yo get your advice on my daughters diagnosis dilemma. We live in NSW and my 14 year old recently had an appointment with a paediatrician for assessment and diagnosis. I am self diagnosed ADHD and can see so much of myself in my daughter. In the appointment she basically said because of mine and her teachers scoring on the tests she doesn't fit the ADHD profile and didn't do further testing. My daughter has anxiety and depression and I think PMDD (Tho when I suggested that the Paed looked at me like I'd grown 2 heads). We left with blood test request (continuing low iron) and a follow up call in 2 weeks. No new anxiety meds (which she'd stopped taking in March during a mental health crisis), no validation of what she's experiencing or anything. So I guess I'm asking do I follow my gut and seek a new paediatrician assessment or do I stick it out here. The way the paediatrician explained it was anxiety and depression can look alot like ADHD. My daughter even said "Well that was useless wasn't it". If you could put the call out for any neuro-affirming female paediatricians that are located in Canberra, Sydney or Wollongong I'd be eternally grateful. Thank you for Anomolous, I've been able to share it with my 74yo Mum who is starting her ND children and grandchildren 🙏🏼 If was after hearing your experience of being told 'no' by the psychiatrists that gave me the guts to teach out. Thank you x
Advice on how to love my neurodivergent magic brain
Hi Em, I am hoping you'll have some advice for me on accepting/loving my neurodivergent magic brain. I was formally diagnosed with ADHD just over a year ago thanks in large part to you speaking so openly about your experience. Since then I've gone through feelings of elation, anxiety and depression (sometimes all in the same day!) about my diagnosis and trying to better understand my brain. I've come to more of a place of acceptance in the last couple of months, but I still have really crappy days where even the smallest thing will leave me feeling like a failure, like something is wrong with me and like I'll just have to keep living my life being let down by my brain and being a burden on my friends and family. I would really like to know if there's anything that you say to yourself or do in those low moments where you wish you could just disconnect your brain from your body for even 5 minutes? I do daily affirmations, journalling and have been trying to talk more openly and positively about my ADHD with those around me but I just don't feel like I have any practices that help me in the moments where the overwhelm and racing thoughts are at peak level. I see a psychiatrist and psychologist and have explored different ADHD meds all of which have not helped quiet my racing thoughts and negative self talk. I feel so isolated in these moments and like everyone else has their shit together except for me and no matter what I try, I just can't get to a place where I accept and love my brain. I think this is reinforced by not having ever been in a job where my ADHD has been an asset, it feels like it's always been a hindrance. I'm also not working right now due to relocating interstate and also being so bloody burnt out and overwhelmed that I couldn't deal with the workplace I was in any longer. I really want to be as positive as you are about having a neurodivergent brain and let go of my shame and feelings of failure that my brain just can't do the things that other people seem to do so easily. Sorry for the long message and thank you for all you do. I've been loving Anomalous and can't wait to see you at Outgrown. Love Sara xoxo