When you come to Canberra, will you visit the Penis Owl?
Hi Em and Michael, I have already booked tickets to see you at the Canberra's writers' festival. I was just wondering if you have any site seeing planned? The Penis Owl is always fun. I am also a massive Canberra nerd (I literally make youtube videos about Canberra) so if you want a little fun gay Canberra guide, I'm your man! Loving the work you're doing, I can't wait to see your musical!
Question about dealing with grief when you're autistic (not yet diagnosed, but peer reviewed).
I recently lost my grandfather, and basically went into survival mode to get through my role in the funeral. Basically CBT but not in a healthy way. Now that the funeral is over, I am really struggling to accept that he is not here anymore. I was really close with my grandparents growing up, and spent a lot of time with my grandfather during his last year. How do you deal with grief when you've lost someone so important to you, but struggle to feel the big feelings that come with that?
Pre diabetic at 35!
Hi Em, I have just been diagnosed as pre-diabetic. Even though I knew I had an increased risk of type 2 diabetes because I have a family history and had gestational diabetes with my second, I didn’t really think it would be something I would be facing at 35. For the past 7 years my family has come first, I’m still carrying the baby weight around (my youngest is almost 5). I have adhd and a complicated relationship with food, most likely also autistic so there is also a bunch of sensory things going on too e.g I don’t like eating leftovers, gives me the ick. I also struggle to get into exercise, my health has been on the back burner for too long and now I need to prioritise me but it’s incredibly overwhelming. Please give me any words of encouragement to get me started on this road back to me. P.S currently watching severance after listening to the pod on my way home from work the other night, I had no idea what was going on but I was so intrigued.
Tram driver championship - Melbourne drivers!
Can Em and Michael review the World Tram Driver Championship? We have two Melbourne drivers competing https://www.reddit.com/r/melbourne/comments/1mypa5o/sally_and_craig_from_melbourne_will_be/. Website - https://www.tramwm.com and video from last year https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zQ9jt9L5sk
How do I take time off to dissociate?
Hi Em, I had my autism assessment last week and although I haven’t received the final report the psychologist said it’s likely audhd. Whilst I’m not surprised, in typical autistic fashion my emotions often take a bit of time to catch up. Since the appointment I haven’t really had time to just sit with it because you know, life, but the kids are with their dad this week and I can feel myself needing to have a day to just basically shutdown. But I feel guilty taking one. I don’t really have a huge amount going on work wise so it’s not going to leave me in a hole there. But taking a day off just to basically go catatonic just feels wrong. The irony is I work in HR and if someone told me they felt this way I would immediately tell them to take the day off. I also don’t want to be judged by my colleagues, particularly one colleague who has made her dislike of me pretty obvious. Not that they need to know but he that’s the adhd overthinking kicking in 😆. So, help me advocate for myself (or give me a good lie I can use to take a day off guilt free).
Book Week for adults
Hi Em! I’m getting the costumes ready for my kids for Book Week (Angelina Ballerina and Greg Heffley from Diary of a Wimpy Kid). If you were dressing up for Book Week as an adult, if this were a totally normal thing to do, who would you dress up as? Love your work, I recently upgraded to Extra Extra and WORTH IT ✨
The big Christmas Dilemma!
Raising a (probable) Neurodivergent child who is also an only child. We are coming up to the age where Christmas is going to come with a lot of questions. Questions she has probably been pondering for years but isn't ready to ask out loud yet! I thought we would have hit this stage earlier, but not having any older siblings, probably worked in her favour! I obviously can't use the old, "you get to become a Santa and keep the magic alive for siblings" trope that so many other parents use. I am at a complete loss on how to approach, or deal with this topic when she is ready to bring it up! Any suggestions so I don't completely rip out her heart!?
What is everyone’s special interest topic?
I love a passionate ramble. Hearing James talk about Taylor Swift and Odie’s passionate defence of Conrad(?) last week got me thinking, what other special interest topics does everyone have? Benjamin? Michael? Love an F1 dump by Em even though I’d never watch a race myself. Go forth and ramble on whatever this week’s hyperfixation is. Please and thank you!
Raising a teenage boy with PDA
Dear Em, I need to hear your thoughts on raising boys in this world. My son is 13, in year 7, and I’m terrified that he’s going to go down the Andrew Tate type path. We have always had a turbulent relationship. He has a PDA profile and has resisted every single thing I have ever said to him or asked him to do. I mean EVERYTHING. The other day we were on a tram with my wonderful (but full boomer) mum, his grandmother, and she pointed out that he should stand and give his seat to a woman if there was a shortage of seats on the tram. He then asked me why? If women are able to do anything - like they say they can - why can’t they stand up on a tram if there are no seats? He said it was “sexist” to expect him to give up his seat for a woman. I actually tend to agree with him that there’s no real reason for a man to give a seat to a woman if she’s not pregnant, elderly or physically disabled, but it got me thinking about how a kid like him is so confused about being a gentleman versus looking out for himself. In his mind, if women are so capable and equal to men, why do they have to treat us any different to how they treat men? Relatedly, he can be quite rough with his 9yo sister at times and I’ve tried to explain to him about how important it is to not lay his hands on a girl, ever, without her permission, but he just scoffs and asks why are girls so special?? Why can he hit boys but not girls? I of course told him he shouldn’t hit boys either (which I actually don’t think he would) but how do I explain to his PDA self in a way that will help him to understand rather than just resisting my advice as being “sexist” (his word) which I feel makes it worse? I’m so worried for his future and feel totally helpless to help him 😖
F1 insider knowledge
Hey Team! I’m absolutely loving everything F1, especially being able to share a common interest with my teenage son. My question is, one day I’d love to go to the F1 in Melbourne. I live interstate so it’d be a treck. I know you’ve experienced the race thanks to Mercedes, but can you give some insight into what’s worth spending the dollars on and what’s not? Am I better to pay for a better ticket, but on practice day, or go budget on race day? I don’t want to go all that way for a ho-hum experience. Any insight from a local would be appreciated.
School dramas
Hey Em. I am at my wits end with advocating for my son to have an education in an environment that isn’t traumatising him and actually does/knows how to do their jobs. I don’t even know exactly what I’m asking at this point, I guess maybe just for some encouragement? Because I am done. D. O. N. E. My eldest kiddo is 10. He is a magical autistic being, with PDA profile and ADHD. School has been a nightmare for him from day dot. He is bright, funny and clever, and loves to learn, but even with a supported schooling placement he doesn’t thrive in that environment. Homeschool you may say? Many have! But the thing is, I have three other kids, all autistic or AuDHD, and I recently received my own autism diagnosis. My husband has basically accepted his neurodivergence but hasn’t formalised it yet. I need to work for my own sanity as well as loving my job. Ironically, I work in education. In a special needs school. My son does not attend my school and cannot, for various reasons. Big kid has spent more time suspended than anything else since kindergarten, which just makes me sad. This is his third school and so far no one we have come across appears to have any understanding of how to support behavioural challenges, putting him in the too hard basket and making unreasonable demands of us. We have an active and engaged allied health team, who mostly support him at school as that is where his greatest support needs are not being met, whose advice and strategies are constantly ignored. School complained that his meds “weren’t working” so eventually in consultation with his paed, we weaned him off to find out if there was a better option and school went off about how they cannot possibly support him off meds 🙄🙄🙄 You truly cannot win with these people. We’ve tried looking for other options, but short of distance ed and going to work with my husband everyday, it seems like he’s either not “disabled enough” for most schools or “too disabled” for others, and specialist behaviour schools say he isn’t bad enough yet. Do I have to encourage my kid into a life of crime to get him a decent education?? Anyway. Sorry for the rant. This is not something I’d ever really thought I’d have to encounter in life and I’m struggling. SOS. I’m tired.