Full circle moment and question
Hi Em, Just let me preface this email by saying I am currently lying in a hospital bed after a massive knee operation, hopped up on the really good drugs... so if this email comes away as a little bit loopy, all the more fun for listeners I guess. Part one of this (long) email is a story of a full circle moment. I met the love of my life in 2019, a British boy, on a working holiday visa, due to move back to England in 6 months. We met online, with the intention of a friends with benefits situation until he moved home. Alas, as it so often goes, feelings were caught. It was all okay though, because I got offered a job in England. The plan was he'd go home in September and I'd join him the following May. Of course, the world had other plans and Covid destroyed all of that. We found ourself trapped on opposite sides of the world, both of our mental health plummeted and he ended things in a rather brutal way. To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement. In my grief I wrote to you on instagram asking for advice from the only person I knew of who'd broken up and then gotten back together with their lifelong partner. The message I sent remains unread to this day, which I am glad about because it truly was an emotional stream of consciousness mess. Haha. Over time my British boy and I did open up a little contact, then a little more, then he promised, one day, when the borders opened, we'd use the flights to Fiji that we had already booked pre covid, as friends - our chance to say goodbye. Which we did. My friends told me I was crazy, but for me it was something I just had to do, if for nothing else, I needed closure. Well, in 2022 we went to Fiji, rekindled all that once was, did a torturous long distance relationship for 18 months, and in December last year he moved permanently to Australia and asked me to marry him. After a life time of depression, anxiety, grief and just generally feeling alone in this world, I have never been so happy. He is my prince, the missing piece in my life and my true safe space, as I am for him. Who is this man? None other than Flat Peak Cap Bald Dave from your Sydney show. Sitting next to him whilst watching you was a pinch me moment. So (finally) here is my question- as I mentioned, I have never been so happy in my life, but with that has come an overwhelming fear of it all ending. I have had a pretty tough life for the average person living in a developed, non-war torn country. I have lost both my parents as well as my grandmother who raised me and have PTSD from various events. At first my fear revolved around him breaking it off again. Now that I have become more secure in our relationship it has shifted to a doomsday fear that something awful may happen to him. I envision car accidents, heart attacks, plane crashes etc. Anything that could tear me out of the blissful peace I have never gotten to feel before this. It is debilitating sometimes. I have spoken to flat cap Dave about this, but he is such a 'live in the moment' optimist, he doesn't really understand. It is likely that I am undiagnosed ADHD and him undiagnosed Autistic, so we are the perfect opposite in so many ways, of which this is one of them. Do you have any advice on how to move past this? Living in fear of something ending taints the pure joy of each day. I am aware we can't control what happens tomorrow, but I can't seem to stop myself worrying about it. Apologies this email is so long. Thanks for providing a safe space for all the quirky left of centres like me. Your positive impact on lives of so many shouldn't be underestimated. From Emsolator Dee
Full circle moment and question
Hi Em, Just let me preface this email by saying I am currently lying in a hospital bed after a massive knee operation, hopped up on the really good drugs... so if this email comes away as a little bit loopy, all the more fun for listeners I guess. Part one of this (long) email is a story of a full circle moment. I met the love of my life in 2019, a British boy, on a working holiday visa, due to move back to England in 6 months. We met online, with the intention of a friends with benefits situation until he moved home. Alas, as it so often goes, feelings were caught. It was all okay though, because I got offered a job in England. The plan was he'd go home in September and I'd join him the following May. Of course, the world had other plans and Covid destroyed all of that. We found ourself trapped on opposite sides of the world, both of our mental health plummeted and he ended things in a rather brutal way. To say I was heartbroken would be an understatement. In my grief I wrote to you on instagram asking for advice from the only person I knew of who'd broken up and then gotten back together with their lifelong partner. The message I sent remains unread to this day, which I am glad about because it truly was an emotional stream of consciousness mess. Haha. Over time my British boy and I did open up a little contact, then a little more, then he promised, one day, when the borders opened, we'd use the flights to Fiji that we had already booked pre covid, as friends - our chance to say goodbye. Which we did. My friends told me I was crazy, but for me it was something I just had to do, if for nothing else, I needed closure. Well, in 2022 we went to Fiji, rekindled all that once was, did a torturous long distance relationship for 18 months, and in December last year he moved permanently to Australia and asked me to marry him. After a life time of depression, anxiety, grief and just generally feeling alone in this world, I have never been so happy. He is my prince, the missing piece in my life and my true safe space, as I am for him. Who is this man? None other than Flat Peak Cap Bald Dave from your Sydney show. Sitting next to him whilst watching you was a pinch me moment. So (finally) here is my question- as I mentioned, I have never been so happy in my life, but with that has come an overwhelming fear of it all ending. I have had a pretty tough life for the average person living in a developed, non-war torn country. I have lost both my parents as well as my grandmother who raised me and have PTSD from various events. At first my fear revolved around him breaking it off again. Now that I have become more secure in our relationship it has shifted to a doomsday fear that something awful may happen to him. I envision car accidents, heart attacks, plane crashes etc. Anything that could tear me out of the blissful peace I have never gotten to feel before this. It is debilitating sometimes. I have spoken to flat cap Dave about this, but he is such a 'live in the moment' optimist, he doesn't really understand. It is likely that I am undiagnosed ADHD and him undiagnosed Autistic, so we are the perfect opposite in so many ways, of which this is one of them. Do you have any advice on how to move past this? Living in fear of something ending taints the pure joy of each day. I am aware we can't control what happens tomorrow, but I can't seem to stop myself worrying about it. Apologies this email is so long. Thanks for providing a safe space for all the quirky left of centres like me. Your positive impact on lives of so many shouldn't be underestimated. From Emsolator Dee
Parasocial relationships
Hi Em, So I was chatting with my husband about having parasocial relationships with celebs after you were speaking about it on the pod in relation to the Diddy stuff. We then were discussing this (parasocial relationships) in context of you and your tour as we had VIP tix, and there were people in the crowd that had booked 5 or so shows + vip to watch you. My pragmatic brain couldn’t make sense of this (but just to be clear - good for them! I love that you have such loyal supporters, this is not a dig at anyone!), and I wondered about how you make sense of this. Do you limit the access people have to you (i.e. limiting dms, what info about your fam you put out into the world, even limiting what your girls post on socials)? Do you like that people want to be your mate and kind of feel like they are at times given how deeply a lot of people resonate with you? Soz to get all philosophical, I’ve been ruminating on this for a bit 😂
Rebel Wison
Can we get Em and Michael's input on everything that has been happening with Rebel Wilson? First she had the book where she called out the bad behaviour of a man in the industry, which Em and Michael touched on. Now she's got a lawsuit against the producers of her new movie The Deb (looks like a great movie!). And she had a surprise wedding last month! (Her and her wife looked fucking amazing and their daughter is the cutest!!!) That woman is a force and has some flaps of steel. Can Em and Michael share their thoughts/ any insights they might have, especially with all the legal stuff that has happened with her movie? Love you guys!