Not sure I’m posting in the right spott but 🤷♀️ I upgraded my subscription to extra extra just because I LOVE Em and I can afford the subscription atm. I like to walk and listen, not really interested in watching the vids as it doesn’t really fit into my day. BUT…I watched the xtra Met ep tonight, and I loved ‘being there’! So many lol’s and when Em finished she could have been a judgey bitch for hours I fell about laughing, shrieking “me too”! Love listening, and still will, but damn, watching the ep, worth every cent! Good for her!! 👏
Did Taylor Swift just change the concert/ touring game??
Really excited to hear Em and Michael (and Zeek) discuss Taylor completely rearrange her Eras tour set list to include songs from TTPD, and how epic the new set is. I mean, given how gaga they'd go if Beyonce did something like this, I hope it can be appreciated even if neither Em or Michael is a Swiftie.............
What happened to your cave of wonders?
Hey Em, A couple of months ago you mentioned that your mother was exploring a long lost storage shed of yours. How did it go? What did she find? Did the spreadsheet help? - Russell N PS. I don't have a crush on Michael, I just enjoy the idea of gay men in speedos
AITA - difficult mother and sentimental days etc
Hi Em and Michael, A bit of a trigger warning here re child sexual abuse/family violence/suicide. Also, apologies if this is a long question. I'm on a diagnostic journey with ADHD and autism (in no small part due to Em's advocacy) so feel a need to explain and over-explain. It was mother's day yesterday, and its the first year I've not seen or interacted with my mother on mother's day. For context, I grew up in a home where I was physically and sexually abused by my dad and his brother from around the age of 3. My mother was regularly physically assaulted by my dad, he controlled all the money, he denigrated her and I, and I'm almost certain he sexually abused her too. I'm an only child and am the only living relative my mother speaks to. My dad died almost a decade ago when I was in my late 20s. Since then, I've gone through a reckoning with my mental health and properly started to deal with the trauma of my upbringing. Throughout that process, I went through a nervous breakdown, a suicide attempt, and have come out the other side with a diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder (mislabelled as Multiple Personality Disorder), and Complex PTSD. Since my diagnoses, I've put in a lot of work in therapy, and have spent years trying to rebuild the relationship with my mother. Deep down, I really care for her, and I know she has been through a traumatic experience herself. However, aspects of our relationship have been extremely problematic. For example, she does not accept my diagnosis of PTSD (she says it is for war veterans and doesn't know what I'm on about) - I haven't told her about the Dissociative Identity Disorder because I can't even fathom how she would deal with that bombshell. My mother also subscribes to the view of "well, its in the past", and "it wasn't that bad", and at times, sometimes says to me "well, at least when your dad was hurting you, he wasn't hurting me, I don't know why you're being so selfish". I should also mention that over the past decade, I distracted myself with a law degree (ultimate avoidance behaviour) and graduated first in my class, and am now a practicing solicitor. However, my mother uses this against me, saying "well, you wouldn't be able to achieve all that if what happened to you was that bad". I have spent years just trying to put some boundaries up. I've limited myself to only seeing her on special occasions for a limited time, not bringing up my dad or my mental health etc. However, I'm finally at a point where I've had enough, and I can no longer see her without feeling a terrible pain within myself, even if our interaction was innocuous. That's why this year I decided not to see her or spend time with her on mother's day. My husband, two teen daughters (two fierce ND queens, aged 13 and 14), and myself all had to block our phones because she has a habit of ringing incessantly when we try to ignore her, and I spent yesterday so stressed about her finding some way to contact me. My husband and daughters are supportive of me drawing a line in the sand and distancing myself from my mother for good, as is my mental health team and most of my friends. However, when I was speaking with one close friend, she said something like "you only get one mum, and you're all she's got, I think you should give her another chance". I was up all night with this thought, feeling terribly guilty and almost like I need to apologise to my mother for ditching her on mother's day. I have no doubt my mother would have felt upset by me rejecting her yesterday and I know I am her only family. However, whenever I'm with her, I have to pretend the trauma of my upbringing isn't there in order to keep the peace, and it is just incongruous with who I am as a person now. AITA for wanting to just let go of this relationship? AITA for bringing up past trauma when the person who did this is long gone and cannot defend themselves? I am just so lost right now. Again, apologies for the long question. Tali xo